Online dating is a unique beast. I discovered this almost immediately when I tried online dating for the first time three years ago. Compared to meeting people in person the “old fashioned way” it’s a totally different ballgame. Within a few hours of signing up, I was suddenly exposed to all kinds of situations and social interactions that I’d never even thought to consider before – and I know I’m not the only one.
In an effort to celebrate the ups, downs and idiosyncrasies of online dating, here are a few things that only online daters understand.
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Meeting someone in person for the first time and realizing that they look completely different than their profile photo.
Unless you’re going on a blind date set up by a friend, this is something you never have to deal with when you meet people in person. What you see is usually what you get. But when it comes to online dating, every date is a blind date, in a sense. You may think you’re going out with a young George Clooney type, only to get to the date and realize he’s more of a George Bush type…and we’re talking George Senior. You just never know.
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The shirtless selfie taken in the bathroom mirror.
This one probably applies more to the ladies, but you don’t fully understand the epidemic that is shirtless bathroom mirror selfie until you’ve tried online dating. Despite countless articles that advise people not to take a photo of themselves in a (usually cloudy) mirror, these photos persist. Wondering why is what keeps you up at night (well, not really. But seriously, why do guys keep posting these kinds of photos?!)
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Dealbreakers.
Sure, you had dealbreakers before you started online dating, however now you have way more and some of them are stuff you never would have thought of in a million years. For example, perhaps you’re now turned off by shirtless selfies or girls who make duck lips in their photos, or anyone who doesn’t know how to properly use “you’re” and “your.” Online dating gives us an opportunity to see someone from a perspective that we might not get in real life, so it’s natural that these kinds of things pop up.
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You have a newfound appreciation for proper grammar and spelling.
Ah yes, you never knew how much of a turn on the proper use of you’re/your and there/their was until you started dating online. Not everyone is a writer. Unfortunately this becomes apparent online. Because of this, you find yourself giving points to people who use proper grammar and syntax (and rejecting those who don’t.)
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Seeing people online that you’ve already dated.
It’s always kind of funny when you’re going through your list of matches and you see someone you’ve already gone out with. Luckily, most online dating websites come with a “block” feature for this exact reason.
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Sexual advances from strangers.
This is something that most guys probably don’t have to deal with (but, who knows – maybe I’m wrong?) As a woman, I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked to hook-up with a stranger online or been approached inappropriately, despite the fact that I don’t list “casual sex” anywhere in my profile. Because they don’t have to see you face to face, some people take this as an opportunity to be as gross as possible – an unfortunate pitfall of online dating.
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The feeling of seeing someone’s profile and immediately starting to imagine a future with them.
Online dating profiles provide a very filtered view of who someone is and what their life is like (ie. like a Pinterest board, full of photos of afternoons spent enjoying craft beers at a handmade reclaimed wood table and playing with rescue dogs.) It’s always such a thrill to come across an awesome profile that it’s easy to get wrapped up in daydreaming about what dating this person would be like (“I mean, I don’t really like beer…but I’m sure I’d enjoy it with him/her. I wonder if my dog would like his dogs?”) It’s embarrassing, but we’ve all done it atleast once.
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The phrase “I love to laugh” takes on a whole new meaning.
Why do so many people include this line in their profile? Does anyone not enjoy laughing?! When you see an overly generic profile like this, it’s hard not to click “next!”
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The frustration that comes from chatting with someone forever and never. meeting. up.
You’re looking for a date, not a pen pal! This is why I practice a three message rule. If we’ve exchanged a few messages and neither person has asked the other out, it’s time to bounce.
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Actually meeting someone online that you really, really like.
You beat the odds! Amidst all of the hilariously bad selfies, sketchy messages and bad spelling, you met someone that you actually click with. Unless you’ve experienced the ups and downs of online dating, it’s hard to describe just how satisfying this feels.
