As smart women, we are the CEOs of our lives. We’re bright, ambitious, determined and know what we want – both in life and love. However, just because we’re intelligent and in charge of our lives doesn’t mean that we’re perfect. When it comes to online dating, it’s easy to make common mistakes without even realizing it. In an effort to get what we want, we end up shooting ourselves in the foot. In other words, we could all use a refresher in online dating etiquette from time to time.

Feel like you’re striking out with online dating? Here’s a few common online dating mistakes that smart women make –

1. Not being specific enough –

One of the biggest complaints I hear from men is that women’s profiles are often vague and unspecific. I totally get it – as smart women, we’re trying to maximize our chances of meeting someone by being as open-ended as possible in order to appeal to the greatest number of men. However, by doing so we’re actually hurting our chances in the process. For example, maybe you really are “just a laid-back girl who loves to laugh;” however, using this cliched phrase in your profile won’t do you any favors.

Want to set yourself apart from the pack? Get specific in your profile! Contrary to popular belief, guys don’t just look at the photos. They want to know who you are as a person, so show them! Love craft beer, kayaking and watching UFC? Share that you’re looking for someone to enjoy these activities with. Highlight your passions and quirks. Sure, maybe you’re not going to be appealing to everyone, but you’re not looking to meet “everyone.” You’re looking to meet one person that you really connect with. If you don’t open up about what you really want, you’re not going to get what you want. End of story.

2. Failing to be honest with yourself or potential dates –

Men aren’t the only ones who post outdated photos or stretch the truth in their profiles. Just saying. If you want to be successful at online dating, honesty is key!

When it comes to photos, resist the urge to post that photo from that month in 2009 when your hair looked really, really, awesome. Potential dates want to see what you look like right now. Nothing kills the first date vibe like discovering your date looks like a completely different human being in real life. However you look right now – own it. You want someone who is attracted to you as is – in all your current awesomeness.

While you’re at it, make sure that you’re being honest with yourself about what you’re looking for. Living in the Pacific Northwest, it’s not uncommon for women to play up their outdoorsy side because they think that’s what local guys are looking for. However, if you’re way more comfortable in a pair of Louboutins than a pair of hiking boots, don’t be afraid to own up to that. You’re looking for someone who actually likes you for you – not some imaginary made up version of you.

3. Not sending that first message –

Don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from making the first move. Sure, as a smart, sexy woman, you’re surely going to be receiving your share of messages from potential dates, however don’t wait around for the guys to come to you. If you someone looks cute and interesting, take the initiative and message them. We’re not living in the 1880’s. Messaging a guy first does not make you aggressive or desperate. It means you’re a smart woman, unafraid of making things happen. Hey, the guy might even be super excited to hear from you (and relieved to not have to make the first move!) One of the great things about online dating is that rejection is passive. If he’s not interested, he just won’t write back – no biggie. If this happens, make like Jay-Z and move “on to the next one.”

4. Overthinking things –

This is probably the number one mistake women make with dating – period. When it comes to online dating, it’s often hard to interpret a guy’s tone from an email or text message. You don’t really know if you’ll click with someone until you meet them in person. If there aren’t any major red flags, stop dissecting each and every one of his texts and just go with the flow. Heck, go on a date and see if you actually like this person! Not only is overthinking each and every interaction futile, it’s a waste of your precious time. Although our first instinct is to overthink, often things are just what they are.

5. Not setting realistic expectations –

You’re smart, ambitious and know what you want: a serious relationship. That’s awesome! However, if you go into each dating interaction with the expectation that this guy might be “The One” you’re going to end up disappointed more often than not. Not only does this kind of mindset put an incredible amount of pressure on you and your date, it’s also wildly unrealistic. So, instead of going into a date telling yourself, “This guy might be my future husband,” switch the script and try thinking, “I’m going to get to know someone new, enjoy some good conversation and have fun.” By loosening up your expectations, you’ll be able to relax and actually get to know the person to see if there might be a future there. Keep in mind, not everyone is going to be husband material – and that’s OK.