Real talk: online dating can make all of us act a little crazy from time to time. Case in point – when we go to ridiculous lengths to impress the people we meet online. Need an example?
A few years ago I met this girl online that I really liked. After being single for a year following a painful break-up, I had just started to experiment with online dating for the first time. This girl was the first person I met that I liked liked. However, after a few really stellar dates, the relationship seemed to flat line.
Eager to recapture the magic of the first few dates, I did some pretty ridiculous things to try and impress her. For example, taking up long distance running for a week (oh, it gets worse) and purchasing aphrodisiac infused shower gel that promised to “help attract the opposite sex.” I realize how sad and desperate this all sounds, but I had it bad. When I realized my efforts at impressing her weren’t having any affect, I had to face the cold hard truth: nothing was ever going to work because this girl just wasn’t that into me.
That’s the thing – if someone is legitimately interested in you, you don’t need to take extreme measures to impress them. They’ll like you as is. On the other hand, if they’re not feeling you, there’s probably nothing you can do to change that. End of story.
With that said, we’ve all been in a situation where we’ve felt the need to impress the people we’re interested in. Here’s a few examples of silly things we do to grab the attention of people we meet online (and why they don’t matter) –
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Saying we’re really into a hobby, when we’re actually only mildly interested.
Living in Los Angeles, it seems like every girl you meet online is into hiking, brunching and/or every spending-money-activity under the sun. If you’re online and see that nearly all of the single people in your area are into certain hobbies, it can be really, really tempting to boost your chances of meeting someone by listing the same things in your profile (even if you’ve only vaguely gone on a hike once.) Why is this silly? Well, for starters, do you really want to date someone who is into a bunch of things that you’re only pretending to like? I’m guessing no. Fudging your interests online isn’t going to impress anyone. However, it will lead to a bunch of dates with people that you don’t (really) have much in common with. Yawn.
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Lying about your age and/or posting outdated photos.
Sure, you might look awesome in that photo you took in Cabo circa 2006 and you think that 32 sounds so much than 46 – but really, who are you fooling? Lying about your age and/or appearance online is futile because when you show up for a date, the jig is up. Your date is going to see what you look like anyways, so why lie? Being dishonest impresses no one. Want to really make a splash online? Be honest and own the heck out of who you are now. It’s time for “2006 you” to go into retirement.
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Trying to come off as a big shot.
Put away your gold plated money clip and while you’re at it, stop bragging in your online dating profile about how many houses or boats you own. Even if you are the kind of person who brings a wad of $100’s to buy a dilly bar at the local Dairy Queen, it’s time to chill the heck out. People who are legitimately successful and financially secure don’t need to be flashy. In fact, many of them downplay their wealth. Think: Mark Zuckerberg’s wardrobe. Why? Because no one likes a show off. Also, if you really are as successful as you say you are, bragging about it and flashing cash will only attract the wrong kind of people.
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Changing our appearance.
If someone isn’t all that into you, no protein shake or shower gel is going to change their mind. Trust me. Same goes for showing up to a date wearing clothing that you’d never wear (yes, uncomfortable bandage dress and stilettos, I’m talking to you). Although I’m all for putting your best foot forward when it comes to your appearance, showing up for a date looking like you’re wearing a costume isn’t going to do you any favors. You want someone to like you for you, so stop trying to impress them by turning yourself into someone you’re not.
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Saying that you’re a “nice guy” or “nice girl.”
Ladies, always be weary of guys who claim that “women never want to date me because I’m just too nice of a guy.” Usually, these supposed “nice guys” or “nice girls” aren’t really so nice. At the end of the day, actions always speak louder than words. Instead of talking about how nice you are, be that nice person. Show, not tell.
So, got it? If you think you do, be sure to head over and check out our list of Top 5 Dating Sites to see which one is perfect for you.
