New Year, who dis? While many of us resolve to do things like hit the gym or finally put together that Ikea desk that’s been sitting in the corner of our unused home office, the start of the New Year can also be also the perfect time to reevaluate our romantic lives.
Looking to make the most out of online dating in the New Year? Here’s a few online dating resolutions we should all vow to make for 2017.
1. Make the first move.
It’s 2017. Time to stop waiting around for someone else to make the first move. If you find someone online that looks like they might have potential, message them. It’s as simple as that. Making the first move can be nerve-wracking, but if you’re looking for a relationship, think about it this way: every time you approach someone first, you’re going after what you really want (self high-five!) If it doesn’t pan out, at least you never have to wonder what if.
2. Stop settling for less than awesome dating situations.
If you’re perpetually annoyed by people who only seem to want to make plans at the very last minute (no, you’re not available for a date at 11 p.m. on a Wednesday) stop accepting this kind of behavior from the people you date. You teach people how to treat you. Demand respect from all of your relationships (including the one you have with yourself!)
3. Stop posting shirtless mirror selfies.
Please, please, please for the love of Jebus, these photos need to stop. Somewhere in the historical trajectory of online dating someone decided that these kinds of photos were OK. They are not. The occasional selfie is cool, but if all of your photos were taken with one hand in the bathroom mirror at your gym, it’s time for some new online dating photos in 2017.
4. Practice the “Mom Rule.”
Friends, let’s make it our goal to stop being creepy online in 2017. How do we make this dream a reality? We commit to practicing the “Mom Rule.” To keep everything appropriate and above board, imagine your parents are in the room, observing your conversations online. You wouldn’t use offensive language or be overtly sexual in front of your date’s parents, so you shouldn’t be messaging them this kind of content online.
5. Remove “send nudes” from your dating vocabulary.
This goes back to the Mom Rule. Would you want your mother to know you’re soliciting naked photos from random strangers online? Of course not. So, cut it out.
6. Stop looking so hard.
As the saying goes, life happens when you’re having fun. Instead of screening every potential partner for future husband/wife potential, take a deep breath and try having fun with online dating. Go on a few dates with people you might not normally go for. Try new things. Stay engaged in the online dating world, but also make sure you spend lots of time with friends and doing things you enjoy. In other words: don’t make dating your whole life. Chances are you’ll meet the right person when you least expect it.
7. Stop complaining and take action.
Nothing is going to change if you don’t take action. Tired of feeling like no one ever messages you? Make the first move and message a couple of new matches that look interesting. Feel like you haven’t been on a date in forever? Ask someone out. Are you perpetually dating the same kinds of people with the same negative results? Instead of complaining about how “there’s no good guys/girls” out there, take some time and space to figure out what your previous dates had in common so you can become better at recognizing and avoiding these traits in the future.
8. Focus on how you want to feel in a relationship.
Instead of trying to check off a list of requirements every time you meet someone new (i.e., “must have a great job, own a car and be both obsessed with Star Wars and ridiculously hot”), consider how you want to feel when you’re with your ideal mate – for example, maybe you want to feel safe, respected and like you can communicate easily with the other person. Focus on those feelings. Exterior qualities like looks and financial stability are important, too, but they’re not going to make you happy if your emotional needs aren’t met.
9. Be kinder to yourself.
2016 has been a hard year for a lot of people. If your dating life has been less than ideal, resist the urge to blame yourself for everything that went wrong. Instead, give yourself a big hug. There’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not unlovable – so, stop telling yourself these things. Dating isn’t easy for anyone, but you’re getting through it. Make sure to pour yourself a generous flute of champagne to celebrate 2017!