If you’re reading this, there’s a very good chance that you’re looking to eventually meet someone who could become your future spouse or long-term partner. But, as you’ve probably discovered, finding the right person is easier said than done.

Unfortunately, the process of dating involves sorting through a lot of “fools gold” – people who look good on paper, but when push comes to shove, aren’t the real deal. I mean, how many of you out there have fallen for someone, only to find out six months down the line that they’re not the partner you were hoping for? That’s called dating, folks. When it comes to finding your future spouse, don’t suffer fools. You deserve gold – the real kind.

So, how can you tell if the person you’re dating is a time-wasting imposter or future spouse material? Here are a few clues –

1. You feel happy and secure when you’re around them.

While you should never rely on someone else for your happiness, a time-waster will always make you feel like you aren’t quite good enough – like, maybe if you lost 5lbs, they might text you back in a timely fashion. When you meet someone who has true spouse potential, you won’t have to deal with any of this noise. Instead, when you’re around them you’ll feel comfortable, secure and like the best version of yourself.

2. They’re supportive.

A time-waster will shrug off your ambitions and passions (“writing? Can you even make money at that?”) – or even worse, try and cut you down to size so that you’re on their own (mediocre) level. They do this because they are insecure. On the flip side, someone who is future spouse material only wants to bring you up. They’re proud of you and want to support your dreams. They see you as part of the same team, so your success is their success.

3. It’s obvious that they’re really into you – and they aren’t afraid to show it.

A time-waster will always leave you guessing where you stand, either because they aren’t sure and/or they like always having the upper hand in relationships (neither of which is cool, BTW). On the other hand, someone who is future spouse material is sure of their feelings and isn’t afraid to let you know. You know they’re into you and think you’re attractive because they take every opportunity to remind you of this…and it feels wonderful.

4. You guys can actually talk about stuff.

The problem with time-wasters is that they can actually be delightful, witty individuals that are fun to talk to and be around – or else why would you keep coming back for more? But, just because someone is “fun,” doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re going to make a good partner. When push comes to shove, can you actually talk about the difficult stuff too? Someone who is future spouse material will want to share everything with you – the good and the bad.

5. They want to show you off.

A time-waster will dodge opportunities to attend public events together where there’s a chance that you’d meet their friends or family. They’ll say things like, “I just want to keep this low-key” – which, is just another sign that they’re not in this for the long haul. Well, you’re a prize that deserves to be showed off. Someone who is spouse material will get that. They’ll want you to meet their friends and family, because they’re excited about and proud of you & the relationship.

6. They do things “just because.”

A time waster only does things in order to get something in return. For example, they only contact you when they want to hang out and/or compliment you when they know it might lead to a hook-up. One of the key signs that someone has long-term potential is that they do things “just because.” They text you in the middle of the day just to see how you’re doing or they do little things for no reason (like bring you your favorite gluten free donut just because you mentioned you were having a bad day.) Life is challenging and these “little things” make a difference. The right person will get that.

7. They want to create a forward momentum.

A time waster will say things like, “I just want to keep things the way they are” or “I’m not really into labels.” Translation: “I’m dodging commitment.” Someone who is future spouse material is excited about committing to you and putting a label on your relationship (see #5: they’re proud that you’re theirs!) Because of this, they don’t shy away from taking the necessary incremental steps to move the relationship forward. They make plans in advance. They introduce you to people that are important to them. They let you know how they feel. Simple as that.