A few years ago, I agreed to go on a date with a guy I’d met online. A couple of hours before we were set to meet for drinks, he texted me to let me know, “he wouldn’t be able to buy my drink tonight because he was on a really tight budget.” I’m a independent person who doesn’t expect other people to treat me every time we go out, but his statement still caught me off guard.

I told him, “It’s no big deal. I can pay for my own drink.”

He responded by saying, “Wow, you’re really cool! Most people are really put off when I tell them these things.”

While I appreciated his honestly, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t put a damper on the romance. I have a personal rule of thumb: if you’re going to go on a date, you should have enough money to cover your drink, the other person’s and your way home – just in case. If this guy couldn’t afford two $6 glasses of wine from our local watering hole, should dating really be his priority right now? Part of me couldn’t help but think, maybe not.

A few years before that incident, I went on another date with a man I’d also met online. We went to an upscale cocktail lounge and tapas bar for our first date. I had planned on just having a glass of wine. So, when he started ordering a bunch of food off the menu (including a massive charcuterie platter), I just thought, “I guess he’s hungry?” and played along. We had a great date, but when the bill arrived, he said, “I’m kind of broke right now. Is it OK if we go Dutch on this?” I was pissed. If you’re broke, why did you just order $80 worth of tapas?!

Both of these situations bring up an interesting question: should you be dating if you’re on a really tight budget? Well, it depends – keep the following things in mind next time you catch yourself staring at your wallet before a date.

1. Dating requires some kind of financial investment – however small.

While there are lots of fun date activities you can do that are free or cost very little (for example, going to a street festival or wandering around a farmer’s market,) there’s going to be a point when you’ll probably need to spend some money – whether on ice cream for you and your date or paying for parking – dating does cost money. If you’re not able to spring for the bare essentials, you might want to rethink whether dating should be a priority right now.

2. Be realistic.

If you’re broke, do not invite your date to go to an expensive restaurant or activity – and whatever you do, don’t order $80 worth of cheese you can’t afford. Take a look at your budget to see what’s realistic. Checking out some food trucks and a free festival in the park can be just as much (if not more) fun than hitting up the latest “it” bar or eatery. Take a look at what’s going on in your community (for example, festivals, street markets, free concerts, art walks, etc.) and make plans accordingly.

3. If you’re going for coffee (or a similar low-key activity), can you afford to treat the other person?

Regardless of whether it’s a dinner and drinks or coffee, it’s a nice gesture to treat the other person you’re out with. If you’ve made low-key plans and don’t have enough cash on hand to cover your date’s coffee – or at the very least, buy them a scone  – then, you might want to stay home.

4. Don’t assume the other person will treat you.

Always make sure you have enough funds to cover your half of the activity, plus the cost to get home safely. This is not only practical, but also a safety measure. If the date starts to go sour, money shouldn’t be on your mind when it comes to booting it out of there a.s.a.p. You should always have enough cash on hand to be able to take a cab home.

5. Should dating really be a priority for you right now?

Good question. If you’re super worried about money and whether you should be dating, maybe that’s a sign you shouldn’t be. As I mentioned above, dating does require some kind of financial commitment – whether that’s paying for a membership to a dating site or treating your date to a cup of coffee, you will need to spend a small amount of money. If you aren’t prepared to do that – that’s OK. Just take it as a sign that maybe right now you need to focus on other things: for example, paying off your debt, finding a new job or working on a side hustle, so you can afford to do the things you want to do. Online dating will be waiting for you when you’re ready.