Online Dating Etiquette
You probably don't need Emily post to tell you that it's rude to
chew with your mouth open on a date (or anytime). And you probably
don't need a reminder that it's bad form to show up late for a
date. But what should you do if you're no longer interested in a
person that you met through one of the top dating sites? At what
point in your relationship should you remove or hide your online
profile so that you can focus on the suitor at hand? Because online
dating isn't as easy as to negotiate as daily interactions, so it's
a good idea to brush up on your online dating etiquette so that you
won't panic when you find yourself unsure of what to do in a new
situation. Because every online dating situation is unique, it may
be impossible to create an unswerving rulebook that governs online
dating etiquette. Still, there are some oft-forgotten rules that
are worth mentioning.
- Be honest.There is no question that a
significant number of people lie on their online dating profile,
but you needn't be one of those people. There's no shame in
representing yourself truthfully.
- Don't write in CAPS. Although capping your
letters is a common way to emphasize your thoughts online, it can
give the reader a headache. (And, using caps is very popular in the
junior-high…if you're older than 13, you may want to represent
yourself as an adult.)
- Don't be over-eager. A surefire way to scare a
potential mate is to suggest meeting in person during the first
chat or email exchange. It doesn't matter how exciting the person
sounds, how attractive he (or she is), or how close he lives to
you, there's no reason to rush your face-to-face meeting. Take time
to connect online and to see how you connect before meeting in
person.
- Don't over-analyze. When you have time to
think about every word you write, you may begin to over-analyze
everything you submit online. And while such deep thought may help
you create the perfect online dating profile, it can also
compromise the authenticity of your online persona. Try to find a
balance between being genuine and being thoughtful so that you can
come across exactly how you want to.
Here are some rules for the times when online dating becomes
real-life dating:
- Make eye contact. Just because you've met
behind the veil of the internet doesn't mean that you'll be able to
hide behind your screen forever. In person, you'll need to make eye
contact and show your date that you're interested in what he or she
is saying - even if you aren't.
- Don't stare. In case you were confused by the
first rule of online dating etiquette, make sure to clarify it with
the second. Your may be surprised to realize that in person, your
date is significantly shorter (or taller) than you were told, or
that your date has a mole that was airbrushed out of his online dating profile pictures.
You may also realize that your date is significantly more
attractive than he or she appeared online. No matter what you're
surprised with, don't stare - that's a surefire way to ruin the
date.
- Listen. First dates are especially awkward,
and rambling on about yourself isn't a good way to ease the
tension. Moreover, even the top online dating sites support 'fake'
listening, where users can reread chats or emails multiple times
before responding. Unfortunately that strategy doesn't work well on
live people. Repress the urge to speak about yourself and to focus
on what your date is saying.
- Don't delay the breakup. If you don't think
that a relationship is going anywhere, break it off as quickly as
possible. With so many singles searching via online dating sites,
there's reason to think that your partner will find someone else.
Dragging it out just makes the process more difficult or
painful.
Learn more about online dating
