Just like there are many things guys unknowingly do that turn women off, there are a bunch of things women do that are major red flags for the opposite sex.
We’ve scoured the internet and polled our male friends. Curious what behaviors made our no-no list? Take heed of the following advice and avoid these behaviors at all costs.
1. Grooming and checking yourself out while you’re on the date.
While there’s nothing wrong with taking a quick glance at your phone to make sure you don’t have lettuce in your teeth while your date is away from the table, full out grooming and mirror time is a no-no. If you want to practice your “angles” or perfect your contouring skills, do it before you leave the house. According to men, this kind of behavior sends the message that you’re more interested in how you look (cough cough high maintenance cough cough) than you are in getting to know them.
2. Using baby talk or calling them “daddy.”
While this may actually turn on a select subset of the male population, in general, baby talk is a huge turn-off for most men. Guys are interested in dating you because you’re an independent adult woman, so calling them “daddy” and speaking in a baby voice just feels creepy and wrong to most dudes. And if they’re into it? They may be looking for a subservient play thing and it’s up to you to decide if you’re willing to play that role.
3. Talking about your ex.
It goes without saying that talking about your ex is a no-no. While mentioning an ex is sometimes unavoidable (after all, we’re all adults with pasts), your ex-boo shouldn’t be the focus of the conversation. Continually mentioning your ex sends the message that you’re still hung up on a previous relationship and therefore aren’t emotionally available.
4. Getting way too serious, way too soon.
The myth that all men are commitment-phobes is exactly that: a myth. With that said, getting serious way too fast when they haven’t given you any indication that that’s where the relationship is going is a no-go. In other words, if it’s only been one or two dates and you’re already texting him links to all-inclusive wedding packages in Napa, you’re doing it wrong.
5. Bringing a moving van to the second date.
You’re having your first sleepover as a couple and you show up with a suitcase, some new throw pillows for his living room and plans to clean out his sock drawer so you can use it as an auxiliary storage area for your bathing suits. Girl, slow the heck down. While it’s pretty normal to keep some items at the home of the person you’re dating, it’s also important that you respect their personal boundaries. Avoid bringing over any personal items until you’ve had the “DTR” (determine the relationship) conversation.
6. Bad hygiene.
This is one that applies to all genders. It doesn’t matter how hot you are, if you smell like you’ve been sleeping under your desk and “showering” with a few spritz of Febreze every three days, a relationship is simply out of the question.
7. Calling him “selfish” whenever he does his own thing or spends time with his friends.
If your dude is never available to go on dates because the majority of his free time goes toward his fantasy football league and caring for his pet iguana Albert, it doesn’t sound like you have much of a relationship to begin with. However, if you make him feel guilty for wanting to see his friends or have some alone time, that’s a huge red-flag for most guys because it puts them in an uncomfortable position.
As Thomas G. Fiffer writes in The Good Man Project, “he can close himself off to things he loves and people he enjoys seeing, or he can risk your disappointment and anger. Getting a man to sacrifice things and people he values for the sake of your emotional security doesn’t mean he loves you. It means he fears losing you (very different from love) and lacks the self-esteem to stand up for himself as an individual. Men do want and need to feel needed by women, but not at the expense of their own freedom and autonomy. Freedom is a big turn-on for men, and relationships thrive on balance and healthy respect for each other’s independence.”
8. Not being yourself.
While women’s magazines would lead you to believe that men will only be interested in you if you show up to a date looking like a poreless, airbrushed Kardashian-esque vision, the truth is quite the opposite. Guys just want you to feel comfortable and to be yourself (and anyone who doesn’t isn’t worth your time.) So, if rocking a skintight latex bodysuit is your jam, do you. However, if you’re more of a flannel shirt and ankle boots kind of gal, don’t be afraid to show your true colors. Your date will thank you.