Why do people break-up? It’s a question that’s haunted us for eons, likely since one cave dweller looked across the fire at another cave dweller and announced over a meal of mammoth sliders that they “Just weren’t feeling it anymore” and “need to focus on themselves a little more” (read: get better at spear throwing).
Online pharmacy Superdrug Online Doctor recently attempted to answer this question by surveying 1,500 men and women to study the differences between the reasons why men and women break up with their long-term partners. Interestingly enough, men and women reported very different reasons for calling it quits.
The most popular reason for women ending their long-term relationships was that their partner didn’t compliment them (15.1 percent) and wouldn’t take them out on dates (15.8 percent). This makes sense – as much as sitting at home in your pajamas binge watching Game of Thrones together is nice, sometimes a lady wants a little romance and to feel – oh, I don’t know – loved, sexy and appreciated.
However, the main reason that men ended their long term relationships was because their partner wouldn’t perform oral sex. This was followed by “does not compliment me” and “has low libido.” Color us unsurprised.
With that said, only 3.5 percent of women and 2.8 percent of men cited wearing sweatpants in public as a dealbreaker. This seems particularly shocking, considering I’ve yet to hear any woman say, “Hey, I totally want to sleep with that gorgeous dude in the ratty gray sweatpants.”
Questionable sweatpants aside, these results (unfortunately) confirm the long held narrative that, when it comes to long-term relationships, women value romance, whereas men prioritize sex. But is that really the whole story?
Along with looking at the reasons people break up, Superdrug Online Doctor also examined some of the reasons for not dating someone in the first place. Surprisingly, there was less variation between men and women’s answers.
When it comes to the casual side of dating, oral sex seems to be a priority for both men and women. The most popular reason for both men and women to not want to date someone (20 percent and 15 percent respectively,) is them having an unwillingness to (ahem) “go downtown,” whether it be for a personal or religious reason.
As for the least popular reason, only 8 percent of women say it’s their partner having a small penis. So, fellas, if you’re not super well-endowed, you can relax. Most likely, she’s dating you because she thinks you’re awesome, regardless of what’s in your pants. In more unsurprising news, men are least likely to dump women who don’t want to receive oral sex.
So, what do these results mean for our own dating lives? Well, I think there are a few things we can learn.
First of all, romance matters. Just because you’re in a relationship with someone or you’ve been seeing each other for a while doesn’t mean you should stop dating. Plan date nights where you show the other person you appreciate them. Whether it’s going back to the cute patio where you had your first date or revisiting the location where you first smooched – don’t stop doing the things you did when you first got together. Also, don’t forget to compliment your partner – regardless of your gender (7 percent of men surveyed still said they’d break up with their partner if they never complimented them.)
While it’s totally uncool to suggest anyone do things sexually that they’re not comfortable with, what this data on oral sex tells us is that sexual compatibility matters. Whether you love or hate oral sex, or any other sexual act, it’s important to find someone who is on the same page as you.
As Superdrug Online Doctor reports, “what could be considered a relationship deal breaker to some may be tolerated by others. And how long a relationship lasts certainly depends on how partners feel toward each other and what they are willing to accept to make it work. Overall, communication was felt to be key in making a partnership last.”