Just when you thought it was safe, there’s a new word to add to the ever growing lexicon of trendy dating terminology. “Mosting” is the latest addition — and it’s probably happened to you.
“Mosting” is when someone you meet online comes on very strong, often proclaiming feelings and an amazing “connection” with you, only to ghost later on. In other words, they’re doing the most to get your attention and affection, but also ‘doing the most’ to disappear like a thief in the night once things get real.
Lots of people can be charming to get what they want, but a “Moster” will take it to the next level, dropping not-so-subtle hints that they’re also totally smitten with you and are looking for much more than just a casual hook-up.
Hope is a dangerous drug. We all want to be loved and adored, so we often don’t realize we’re being mosted until it’s too late. Yikes.
Sidebar: I was recently “mosted” by a guy that flew across the country to meet me for the first time, only to promptly ghost after our romantic weekend together. Moral of the story: even the most prudent, cynical daters (me! me! me!) can fall victim to a talented moster.
With that said, there are certain things you can watch out for when you’re dating someone knew. Here are a few signs that you might be getting “mosted.”
1. They tell you that you’re their “dream girl/guy” or “the complete package” on the first date.
I mean, how flattering is that? We all want to be considered the ideal partner. While there’s nothing wrong with telling someone they are the bees knees, if it happens before you’ve had a chance to properly get to know each other, it could be a sign of mosting (or just general dating inexperience). You’re still getting to know each other on the first few dates. Realistically, you can’t say someone is your dream partner after a few sips of a latte. A more experienced dater that’s actually serious about a potential relationship with you will know to hold a few of their cards back.
2. They lay the compliments on thick and talk commitment right away.
They think you’re wonderful. Creative. Amazing. Passionate. Everything they’ve been looking for. They don’t shy away from talking about commitment and can’t wait to “see where this goes.” Basically, they say all the things that you wouldn’t expect a random hookup to say — even though you’ve just met. Reminder: you want someone who feels this way about you. But if everything seems to click perfectly into place, right away and all at once? Approach with caution.
3. They run hot and cold.
The most clear cut sign you’re being “mosted” is how the person behaves after you’ve been physically intimate. Do they seem like the same person they were when you first met? Or have they become strangely cold, distant and non-responsive? A person who is on the same level as you will want to follow through with their promise to “see where this is going.” If you notice any sudden changes in behavior, this is a strong sign that the person isn’t ready or willing to have a serious relationship with you.
At the end of the day, it’s not so much about what the person says — rather how and when they say it. You want your date to adore and admire you, but if they’re laying it all out right from the gate, it might just be too good to be true.