Depending on how much information they provide, you can learn a lot about someone through their online dating profile. From what kind of relationship they’re looking for to their favorite movies, online dating profiles provide a lot of ways to showcase who you are and your dating intentions — and yet, there are still a few things that would be great to know in advance.
To help avoid awkward surprises, here are a few things that no one puts in their online dating profile but really, everyone should.
What’s your texting style?
One of the things I find most fascinating, but also frustrating about online dating is being exposed to and having to work with other people’s communication styles. Sometimes communication via text flows seamlessly — the other person is direct, writes full sentences and throws in a witty one-liner every now and then (swoon!) — and other times, you wait four days for a response and all you get is a “K.” If I’m going to invest time in getting to know someone, it would be helpful to know if their textual response time and what kind of messages to expect.
Are they the kind of texter that speaks entirely in code (LMAO LOL IDC TBH) or am I going to be receiving eight different long-winded texts before I’m giving a chance to respond? Both are a nightmare in my opinion. Do they expect me to write back right away or are they cool with an 8 hour turnaround period? These are things I need to know.
Do you live with a bunch of roommates?
And, are any of these roommates family members? My friend recently told me a story about how he went to a date’s house, only to have the other person tell them when they got to the front door, “my Dad is in the living room, so I hope you don’t mind hanging out in my bedroom.” Can anyone say awkward? You’d think that people would mention their living situation in advance, but it happens less than you’d think. If I’m going to bump into one of your eighteen roommates drinking milk out of the carton half-naked, I’d like to get a fair warning so I can mentally prepare myself.
Will I want to spend time at your home?
Forget the shirtless selfies, I want to know whether I’ll feel comfortable snuggling up with you on your couch. If you have a couch. Oh, boy. Similar to deciding on an Airbnb, I’d like to know ahead of time whether your home looks like the inside of an overgrown Hamster cage, before I swipe right.
What is your Love Language?
The concept of “love languages” comes from the 1995 book by Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. It outlines five ways to express and experience the love that Chapman calls “love languages”: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch. I think it would be verrrrrry interesting to be able to see someone’s preferences and whether they mesh with yours before you schedule that first date.
Why are you here?
And don’t say, “I’m just looking around.” Why are you really online? Whether your answer is “I’m trying to date a bunch of people, to get over my ex” or “I’m legit looking to get married in the next few years because my biological clock is ticking,” it would all do us some good to be more honest and own up to our intentions online.