Confession: since it arrived on Netflix, I’ve become wholeheartedly obsessed with RuPaul’s Drag Race. For those of you who haven’t seen the show, a cast of 14 talented drag queens compete for the coveted title of America’s Next Drag Superstar and a cash prize of $100,000. Regulars Michelle Visage, Carson Kressley and Ross Mathews join RuPaul on the judges’ panel to decide who stays and who “sashays away.”
While on the surface the show doesn’t have much to do with online dating, underneath all of the rhinestones and epic towers of hair, there are actually some really great lessons that you can apply to your love life.
- If you get knocked down, get up again.
Drag Race is not an easy competition to win. Whether it’s falling down in seven-inch heels or flubbing a challenge, one of the most inspiring parts of the show is how the drag queens don’t give up. If they don’t do their best, they get up the next day and try again. The same can be said about dating. You’re going to have bad days and experience setbacks. The key is to not let them keep you down. Get up, dust yourself off and keep going.
- Don’t let tensions simmer.
Experiencing conflict? Talk. It. Out. When you don’t communicate with the people you’re dating (or your fellow drag queens) and allow tensions to simmer, the conflict has the potential to become explosive. Use your words. Be direct but kind.
- Accentuate your best assets.
Ru’s queens are masters at accentuating their best assets — be it physical or personality wise. So, you don’t have a supermodel body but you’re hilarious? No problem. When you’re in the dating arena, focus on what makes you awesome and as RuPaul says, “work it.”
- Always come from a place of love, but don’t be afraid to get real.
As RuPaul says, “my goal is to always come from a place of love but sometimes you just have to break it down for a #$$@%^&*.” In other words, come with kindness but make sure you still are putting yourself first and honoring your boundaries.
- Self-love is key.
Far too often we go into situations thinking that external forces (dating, being in a relationship) will help us feel better about ourselves. But life and love don’t work that way. Like RuPaul says at the end of each episode, “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?” Love and take care of yourself first. The rest will follow.