On May 28th, Bachelorette Becca Kufrin returned to the small screen to find love. Last season on The Bachelor, Becca was proposed to by racecar-driver-turned-real-estate-agent, Arie Luyendyk, only to be dumped when Arie changed his mind and decided he belonged with runner-up Lauren Burnham. However, Becca seems to have taken it all in stride. The drama-filled premiere showed Becca (literally) glowing in a gorgeous beaded gown as she met season fourteen’s arsenal of men — proof that the best way to get over your ex is by having 28 dreamy suitors compete for your affections.
The Bachelor franchise has never been known for its realistic depiction of modern dating (I’ve yet to go on a second date that involves a private helicopter ride or a group bathing experience in Iceland, but that’s just me). With that said, within the confines of this “reality” show are a bunch of very real-life dating lessons.
Here are a few online dating tips we can take away from this season’s premiere of The Bachelorette.
- Distinguish yourself from the pack.
With close to thirty names and faces to remember, the men of The Bachelorette know that they need to do something (anything) to set themselves apart from the other contestants during the initial meet and greet. While some of their tactics were better than others (note: we don’t suggest you bring a cardboard cut out of your date’s ex to the first date or arrive at your date in a hearse), they were all memorable. The lesson here: online dating is literally a sea of singles. Whether it’s an interesting profile photo or a fun and quirky bio that allows your unique personality to shine, don’t be afraid to be yourself and stand out.
- Humor works.
When contestant David came out wearing a chicken costume, like many of the other contestants, my first impression was, “this guy is a doofus.” Maybe that’s true, but the chicken suit worked! Becca was charmed by David’s goofy, unselfconscious personality and it earned him a rose at the end of the show. Why? Because making someone laugh is sexy. So, while I don’t suggest donning an actual costume for your first date, a little bit of humor goes a long way.
- Don’t go out of your way to remind your date of their ex.
Your past relationships will come up at some point but don’t make it the focus of your conversation, especially on the first meeting. The premiere saw several of the guys making overt references to Becca’s ex. One man showed up wearing a race car driver costume (her ex’s profession) and another came with a lifesize cut-out of Arie in tow — to name a few. Instead of focusing on the past, focus on the other person and the present. Make them remember you, not their terrible ex.
- Refrain from talking about work the whole time.
If there was a drinking game that required you to take a shot every time Jordan mentioned that he’s a male model, you’d probably need to have your stomach pumped by the third commercial break. It’s important to discuss what you do for a living — what you do makes up a huge part of who you are as a person — but don’t let it dominate the conversation. Also, if you aren’t super excited about your job title, don’t make one up. A “Cologneologist” is not a real thing.
- Listen to your gut and your heart.
Becca mentions this saying several times throughout the premiere and it is great advice. Whether it’s their explanation about a series of text messages from their “ex that they only dated for a month” or their overall intentions, if something feels off to you, listen to your intuition.
- Take the high road.
Given the way that her ex ended things (on national TV), Becca had every right to go postal (and maybe she did in private) and trash her ex. Instead, she handled what is arguably a terrible breakup with such class and grace. My advice: always take the high road. The best revenge is living well.