Whether you love it, hate it or merely tolerate it, Valentine’s Day has the tendency to bring up a lot of conflicting emotions in people. This is especially true when you’re single and online dating. It’s normal to open your account or glance at your phone and be inundated with a million different competing thoughts and feelings.
(With that said, the pre-Valentine’s season is one of the busiest for online dating, so if you’re hoping to meet someone it’s actually a great time to strike while the iron is hot.)
Here’s a few things that only people who’ve experienced online dating around Valentine’s Day understand.
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Should I ask them out?
You’ve exchanged a few messages and are ready to make the first move to meet up in real life…except, there it is: Valentine’s Day looming in the very near future, like a flashing, heart shaped amber alert. Thus begins an inner monologue that sounds something like this: “Should I wait until the holiday passes? But what if someone else asks them out? Then I’ll have missed my chance. Or should I just say screw it and ask them out? Oh god, what if they think I’m creepy – or worse, what if they think this means something really serious? I wonder if The Olive Garden takes reservations?”
When we’re caught up in this kind of circular thinking, it’s easy to forget the facts: Valentine’s Day is just one day out of the year. If someone’s interested in going out with you, they will – regardless of whether it’s Valentine’s Day or not.
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Will it be too much pressure?
Valentine’s Day brings up a lot of images: bouquets of red roses, romantic candlelit dinners, giant heart shaped boxes of chocolates and declarations of sweet nothings. But, what if that’s not what you’re after? If you ask someone out around this time of year, are they going to be expecting that?
It’s normal to want some company on Valentine’s Day while still worrying about whether a planning a date for that night is going to be too much pressure. After all, you don’t want to make someone’s “worst Valentine’s Day ever” list. The best way to quell your worries is to plan something casual and fun. Focus on getting to know someone new, instead of what should or shouldn’t happen on the holiday. Whether that means hot dogs, beer and a ballgame or a hot-chocolate and walk in the park, do Valentine’s Day your way.
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Why haven’t they planned anything? Do we need to have the “talk?”
One of the downsides – (or upsides, depending how you look at it) of Valentine’s Day is that it can push the age-old “where is this going?” question right to the forefront. If you’ve just started dating someone new, there’s often this anxiety around whether or not they will acknowledge Valentine’s Day. If they don’t bring up Valentine’s Day it could mean that they’re not that serious about you – or not. It could be that they don’t believe in the holiday. Either way, you’ll drive yourself nuts trying to figure out what their stance is. If you’re unsure of where you stand, ask!
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Why is everything pink and red? Ugh!
If not being reminded of Valentine’s Day is what you’re after – good luck. Next to Christmas, it’s one of the hardest holidays to ignore. Everything seems to be heart shaped and/or pink and red. One of the hardest parts of being single around Valentine’s Day is dealing with the fact that there’s giant puffy hearts and couple targeted marketing everywhere you turn.
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Maybe I’ll meet someone!
Romance is in the air around Valentine’s Day. While most of us wouldn’t readily admit this, V-Day can make us feel a little more optimistic about our romantic prospects. I blame the gushy marketing and the Meg Ryan movies from the 90’s. If you’re in a good mood, there’s always a moment when you log into your online dating account and think “hey, maybe I’ll meet someone tonight.”
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Nope, I’m pretty sure I’ll be alone forever.
All it takes is a bad mood and a message from a certified weirdo (yes, to the guy posed half naked on a tiger print carpet in your online dating profile – I’m talking to you) to make you feel that you’ll never survive Valentine’s Day, let alone meet someone normal.
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Let’s just pretend that this holiday doesn’t exist!
We’ve all felt this way at some point or another. While it’s hard to ignore Valentine’s Day altogether, it doesn’t have to be a total bummer. Being single on Valentine’s Day can actually be a lot of fun. Use it as an excuse to take a night off from online dating and plan a special night out with friends – after all, you never know who you’ll meet when you step away from your computer.
