The first time I knew that my ex-partner would be there for me in good times and bad, was when we were on vacation in Greece and missed our ferry. There we were, in a foreign country with the next ferry not leaving for another fourteen hours. While it would have been easy for us to panic (it felt like our whole day/night was ruined!) my ex took it all in stride, remaining cool as a cucumber.
It wasn’t ideal, but as he said that day, “we’ll just make the best of it” — which we did. I’m prone to anxiety, so seeing how he reacted to being stranded for fourteen hours made me feel so much more at ease. We ended up having a pretty good day. I knew that when more difficult stuff came up in our relationship, we’d have no problem handling it together.
Relationships aren’t perfect. Life happens and you often have to deal with unexpected stuff together. So, how do you know if the person you’re dating is up to the task?
Here are a few signs they’ll be there for you when times get tough:
- You feel comfortable talking to them when you’re upset.
Instead of brushing your troubles aside, they’ll listen to you and allow you to speak your truth. Whether you need a hug or just someone to listen while you vent, you feel completely comfortable coming to them when you’re upset.
- They’re patient and don’t anger easily.
If the person you’re with gets upset over the smallest things (like when their steak arrives medium-well, instead of medium-rare), they’re probably not going to fare that well when something serious pops up. You want someone who is patient and is able to keep their anger in check when times get tough.
- They have close relationships with friends and family.
If they have close relationships with other people, there’s a good chance they have a positive track record of supporting other people through tough times as well.
- They’re empathetic.
Even if they haven’t had to overcome a lot of adversity in their life, they’re empathetic to other people’s struggles.
- They can talk about their feelings.
Instead of bottling up all of their feelings until they blow up, they’re pretty comfortable talking about how they feel and listening to you do the same.
- Communication isn’t an issue.
You guys talk about everything. If something challenging arises, you have no issue addressing it with the other person (even if it’s a bit awkward at first).
- They have their life together.
While this isn’t a hard and set rule, if they have their life more or less together, it’s going to be easier for them to support you emotionally when things go wrong.
- They’re not afraid of your germs.
Life isn’t always pretty. If they’re more concerned with your well-being than your germs (especially when you’re not feeling 100%) it’s a good sign that they’re in it for the long haul.
- You’ve traveled together.
While fun and exciting, traveling can also be really stressful. There’s flights to make, bookings to keep track of and tons of unpredictable factors that can pop up when you’re in a new place. If you travel well together, that’s a good sign you’ll be able to handle bigger stresses and events later down the line.
- They like you in your sweatpants.
If they’ve seen you at your very best (dressed to the nines and feeling on top of the world) and at your worst (sick, gross and in your sweatpants) and they’re still the same towards you (caring, kind, supportive) then congrats, you’ve got a keeper.