First dates are nerve-wracking. You’re trying to make a good first impression while getting to know the other person and simultaneously trying to decode how they might potentially feel about you — the latter often being the most stressful. It’s a juggling game that can make even the most chill of daters break a sweat.
Sometimes it’s easy to tell when someone is interested in you (when you know, you just know…you know?!) However, sometimes a person’s intentions are less clear.
If you’re tired of playing guessing games, here are a few surefire signs that the person you’re on a date with isn’t interested and you can strike them from your list of potential romantic partners.
1. They keep checking their phone.
You’re trying to tell them a story about that time you went to Math camp (they asked!) but it seems to be falling on deaf ears because they keep glancing down at their phone to read/send texts, check sports scores or write back to this “super important facebook thread about tax reform that you’d only understand if you were a part of.” Sure, there’s lots going on in this world and it’s easy to get distracted, but if it feels like the other person isn’t giving you their full attention and it actually feels like you’re part of a weird threeway with their phone, then this is a clear sign that they’re probably not that interested in you (and have bad manners to boot!)
2. Eye-contact is at a minimum.
Sure, maybe they’re shy. But if someone is into you they’ll make an effort to lock eyes — even if they look away shyly after holding your gaze. There’s truth to the old saying, “eyes are a window to the soul.” Making and holding eye contact is an age-old sign of interest and attraction. If your date seems more interested in making eye contact with their margarita and nachos or their smartphone, they’re probably not that interested.
3. They show up to the date looking like they just rolled out of bed.
Literally. They’re wearing what looks like a pair of lint covered stained yoga pants or actual pajama bottoms (#truestory.) Everyone knows that you should try and put your best foot forward on the first date and this includes doing your best not to look like you’re an actual hobo. If someone hasn’t taken the time and effort to make sure they’re clean, presentable and wearing real clothing, they’re probably phoning the date in.
4. They spend the entire time talking about their ex.
You’re only a quarter way through your first latte and it already feels like you know more about your date’s ex than you do about them. While this person may actually be interested in you, it sounds like they’re not mentally or emotionally over their last relationship and hence, shouldn’t be dating anyone.
5. They sit as far away from you as possible.
If there’s a spot that makes it virtually impossible for any kind of physical contact to occur, this person will choose to sit there. Body language matters. If your date isn’t making any kind of physical contact or positioning themselves where contact might be an option, it means they’re not that interested.
6. They can’t wait to tell you that they’re not looking for a relationship.
Despite the fact that their dating profile says, “looking for a relationship.” Either this person is using the guise of looking for a serious relationship to score casual dates and hookups (not cool, bro) or they’re trying to tell you that they’re not interested. Either way, this is a good one to throw back into the dating pond.
7. They seem to be in a rush and/or they cut the date short.
If their grandma calls while you were in the restroom and they tell you that they have to “leave immediately to go feed her parakeet” or it feels like they’re trying to rush the end of the date, it’s a sign that they’re just not that interested. If you’re interested in getting to know someone, you’ll want to spend as much time as possible with them — parakeet crisis be damned.