Wedding season is in full swing & family events abound. You just started dating someone. Should you invite them to be your plus-one at these events? Good question.
When you’re super excited about a new relationship, there’s the impulse to include the other person in everything. With that said, just because you can bring a plus-one to an event, doesn’t necessarily mean you should. If you’re thinking of bringing your new bae to a wedding or family event, here’s a few things to keep in mind.
- What kind of event is it?
Is this a casual barbeque that’s taking place in your uncle Cleatus’ backyard or is this your best friend’s black-tie, formal wedding? Because these things matter. The more formal the event, the more consideration you want to put into bringing a plus-one. Going to a chill family get-to-together is going to be a lot less pressure for you and your date than attending an event that requires a cumberbund. Just saying.
- Have you discussed what this invite means to you and your date?
My family is incredibly laid back and we live in close proximity to each other. Therefore, introducing a date to my family isn’t a big deal to me (they’re going to meet soon enough anyway, why not get it over with?) However, for some people meeting the family is a sign that things are going in a serious direction. Regardless of what kind of event it is, make sure you have an open discussion with your date about what this means to ensure there aren’t any misunderstandings or hurt feelings later down the line.
- How long have you been dating?
Did you just match with this person last week or have you been seeing each other exclusively for a while now? While there’s something fun and spontaneously romantic about bringing someone new to a wedding (think of all those rom-coms that are set at weddings), to avoid a total trainwreck you want to make sure you know the person a decent amount before you consider them as plus-one material. Have you spent more than a few hours together? Have you seen them in other group social situations? This is also another instance where you should consider the nature of the event. If things with your date go awry at a casual family gathering, it’s going to be way less of a big deal than if things fall apart at your cousin’s $200 a plate wedding.
- Have you spoken to the organizers?
This isn’t just about you. While the person you’re dating might be totally amazing, it’s still good form to check in with whoever invited you to see how they feel about you bringing a plus-one. If they haven’t met your date before, they may prefer to meet one-on-one when they can actually get to know them. Alternatively, they may be totally cool with it. That’s why it’s important to ask first.
- How does your date feel about meeting your friends and family?
When it comes to dating, meeting your date’s friends and family is generally considered a positive thing. However, if you’ve only just started dating keep in mind that your date might not be ready to meet all of your friends and family at once (sorry, Uncle Cleatus). Check in with them to find out how they feel and don’t take it personally if they decline your invite.