Entertainment

When subscribers to online dating sites become satisfied customers, they tend turn into brand evangelists for whichever site helped them find their partner. This is naturally understandable since meeting a life partner for the mere cost of a dating site subscription, around $20 a month, seems like such a great deal that satisfied customers are often overwhelmed by feelings of gratitude towards the site that made it happen. That’s why it’s somewhat surprising that results of a recent survey conducted by SeekingArrangement.com suggest that some happy customers are unwilling to share their experiences with friends and family. These findings were much to the chagrin of SeekingArrangement.com CEO, Brandon Wad, who awkwardly labeled the problem as “customer selfishness.”

Of the 500 satisfied customers they polled, 38% stated that they would keep their positive experience with this dating site a secret. That 38% is broken down to into those that are embarrassed of using a sugar daddy site (18%), and those that want to keep their success a secret from their friends so that they do not end up competing with them on the site (20%). When first hearing of this, I was puzzled since the larger dating sites have numerous satisfied customers vouching for them publicly.

Then it occurred to me that I missed a very obvious point. This poll was taken of “satisfied customers.” If that’s the case, then why in the world would someone that has found a match be worried about competing with other subscribers of this dating site? Once one of these “satisfied customers” ends up in a relationship, one would think they would close their online dating subscription. The fact that after they have already met someone, 20% of these customers claim that they do not want to compete with other singles on this site is indicative of the type of members often found on sugar daddy sites like SeekingArrangement.com. Many of the subscribers on these types of sites are specifically looking for short-term flings. What separates the sugar daddy niche of online dating from the adult dating niche is that sugar daddy members prefer relationships primarily based on money to those based solely on intimacy.

While I don’t judge sugar daddy sites or their users, I do question how Mr. Wad did not see this coming. A site dedicated to connecting people that want to use each other should anticipate that a large segment of its customers may have selfish tendencies.

You sit down, join an online dating service and are now faced with a myriad of personal questions that you need to answer. How will you properly represent yourself without seeming boring or going on for too long? Let’s face it; it’s a fast paced world out there. Few people have the patience or the time to sit and read endless paragraphs about your personality. In order to maximize the amount of appropriate visitors that contact you through online dating services, follow these 7 steps below.

Be Informative:
Think about this scenario; a guy/girl sits down at the computer, signs on to their online dating service and searches for certain criterion that bring up your name. He/she then clicks through to your profile only to find that your age and location are missing. It’s extremely important that you fill out the entire questionnaire and answer the questions as thoroughly as possible. This way it’s easier for people to determine if your profile meets what they are looking for.

Add a Photograph:
Research has shown that putting a photograph in your profile increases the number of replies you’ll receive by 10 times. If you have more than one photo it’s even better. Wouldn’t YOU rather see what you’re date looks like before saying yes? Also, remember to upload a recent photo, and even update the photo every couple of months so there are no surprises when you meet in person. Try and give the same consideration to others as you would yourself.

Skip the Checklist:
Everyone has a checklist of things they would love their partner to have. However when writing a profile, try and skip this list. It’s nearly impossible to find someone with all the qualities you are looking for, and having this checklist may serve as a turnoff to someone reading it. After a few dates with a person, you can easily determine most of things on your checklist anyway. Why lessen your chances before you’ve even had a first date.

Don’t be Aggressive:
Sometimes you can’t tell the tone of a message when its text based. Even if you meant to be funny and cute, you should try and save the sarcasm and aggressiveness for your face to face interactions.

Be Truthful:
No one likes a liar; and it’s definitely not in your best interest to start off your relationship with a lie. Even if not all your attributes are positive there are ways to show yourself in a better light without lying. For example, say you would describe yourself as a neurotic person but you’d rather not publish that. It’s better to write you are an ‘overachiever’ than writing you are a relaxed person when indeed you are not. The person sitting at the other end of the table will be able to figure that out soon enough on their own. However, writing the word ‘overachiever’ puts your neuroses in a good light while maintaining your truthfulness.

Respond in a Timely Fashion:
If you are someone that is truly interested in dating then there is a cardinal rule you should know about. RESPOND QUICKLY! If someone contacts you, and you are not interested, you should give them the courtesy to know so they can move on to someone else.

Be Positive:
The more you project a positive attitude, the more people will be attracted to you. Make sure to smile in your photo and respond to replies in a cheerful way. Remember, sometimes getting a date takes some time, but if you stay positive everyone will benefit!

Writing a well thought out profile is something you’ll have to do if you want to successfully enter the world of online dating. It can be tedious and difficult, but if you follow the steps above, it will make the process more enjoyable and increase your chances of getting replies. Finding someone special takes times but once you find the ‘one’ you’ll say it was worth the effort!

If you’re starting to panic because Valentine’s Day is only a month away, you’re not alone.  You may feel isolated, but there are actually thousands (and probably millions) of single people out there, just waiting to be found.  That thought in itself might be overwhelming…but I digress.  With a month to go, you’ve still got PLENTY of time to find some great to spend this romantic day with – and perhaps to spend the rest of your life with.  Here are five ways to kick your love life into gear in time for Valentine’s Day.

Try out a new online dating site. Haven’t been successful with the online dating site you’ve been using thus far?  Now’s the time to try a new one!  If you’ve been using traditional online dating sites unsuccessfully, trying a personality-matching site may be just what you need.  Or, if technology hasn’t yet sent you the mate of your dreams, why not take matters into your own hands?  If you’re skeptical about investing more money into internet dating sites, read reviews or start with a free trial.

Volunteer.  Volunteering will make you feel good about yourself, which will make you more attractive to potential partners.  And, while you’re serving food to the poor or visiting sick people, you may just expand your social circles and meet someone equally benevolent that you can spend Valentine’s Day with.

Try blind dates – again. If Jenny McCarthy’s recent admission on The Ellen DeGeneres Show is any indication, blind dates are back in, and they can be successful.  If you haven’t let a friend set you up in a while, now might be the right time to try again.  With a month to go, ask four friends to set you up on blind dates.  Then hope that one of them might be a winner!

Go shopping.  While shopping with friends definitely offers some social value, the benefits stretch far beyond a few hours of chitchat.  When you have new clothing, you just feel better about yourself, and this confidence can work wonders for someone who is depressed before Valentine’s Day.  Plus, this will give you something new to wear on the plethora of blind dates that might be coming your way.

Engage in self-introspection. If you’re having trouble understanding why your past relationships have failed, it may be time for some self-introspection.  Whether you’re hoping that true love will come via online dating site or while you’re waiting online at the grocery store, you’ll have better chances of success if you’re truly in-tune with who you are as a person and what type of partner you’re looking for.

If you open your mind and your options you may find your soul mate before Valentine’s Day.  But even if you don’t, chances are good that you can find a partner to share the holiday with, and one that may eventually become the long-term companion you’ve been dreaming of.

With dozens of online dating sites to choose from, finding the right site may be almost as complicated as finding a mate.  If you’ve never tried online dating before, you may want to try a free online dating site to see if you’ll find your comfort zone in the world of online dating.  One place to start is Koopa, an online dating service based out of Barbados that serves millions of singles worldwide, including an impressive contingency of singles in the United States.

Koopa’s 3-step registration process is extremely easy and will enable you to start looking for a match immediately.   You should be aware, however, that the initial registration does not complete your user profile, something you may want to do to increase the relevance of people who contact you.  Still, if you prefer to contact others and to remain tight-lipped about yourself, you’ll appreciate the ability to search Koopa’s database with an incomplete profile.

Several things set Koopa apart from other online dating sites.  For starters, Koopa has an internal rating system that tells you where a potential mate falls on the ‘reputation spectrum’.  Every registrant starts in the middle of the spectrum.  The men’s spectrum ranges from ‘douche’ to ‘awesome’, while the women’s spectrum ranges from ‘awful’ to ‘exquisite’, depending on certain factors.  You can enhance your reputation by completing your profile, by getting responses from contacts on the site and logging in regularly.  Your reputation will be tarnished if you post inappropriate content, are reported by other members or earn negative awards.  Although Koopa’s reputation spectrum may not be as scientific an analysis as those offered by personality-matching sites, it does give users a quick peek into the veracity of a potential match, a feature which I found extremely value.

Another unique feature offered by Koopa is a random pairing web chat feature that allows you to invite other users to a video chat. Although not all singles feel comfortable using this form of communication, the option can be great for those who already met each other or those looking to take their relationship to the next level.

Koopa also integrates a news feed into its online dating site which updates users each time other users register or edit their profile.  This feature draws attention to users you may otherwise not encounter and makes it easy for you to connect with new members who may be looking for a mate with your qualifications.

Finally, Koopa has commendable privacy settings that enable users to conceal any of their information or block other users as they wish.  Likewise, Koopa allows users to control their email settings so that they can receive updates as frequently or infrequently as they wish.

There’s no question that Koopa offers a comprehensive mix of online dating services and social networking options.  If you’re looking to break out of your shell or to form a network with other singles, Koopa may be the right choice for you.  Happy socializing!

A recent article in the New York Times addressed how singles in the online dating world should discuss their approach to money in their online profile.  If you’ve got it, should you flaunt it?  Or worse – if you don’t have it, should you fake it?  Is there a shame in being a conservative spender?  Or can being fiscally responsible make you more appealing to other sensible spenders in today’s wayward economy?

There’s no question that disputes relating to money cause a good percentage of divorces and that having a shared approach to the family’s finances can reduce the incidence of these breakups.  With this in mind, some online dating sites such as eHarmony include questions about your approach to money in their personality assessment.  But for most people, financial philosophies are based not only on rational thought but on an emotional component that is often difficult to pin down.  And yet, I’d like to suggest that even if we can’t identify exactly how we feel about money, it’s still an important factor to consider when looking for a mate – a factor that is probably more important than what colors his eyes and hair are, although these questions are asked by every single online dating site.

In today’s world of online dating, singles are encouraged to evaluate others based upon their salary (if they choose to share that information) or their silence (if they don’t).  I’d like to suggest, however, that these questions are entirely misleading.  If a single chooses not to divulge his salary range, is he quietly asking you not to judge him on his income, or is he embarrassed by the number?  And if he does submit his salary range, is it something you can really learn from?  It seems to me that what’s more important than the number is how a potential partner spends his money.  Does he live a lavish lifestyle by spending his money too freely?  Or does he remain grounded and fiscally responsible while squirreling money away for his children’s education or his future wedding?

Unfortunately, there is no real way to judge these types of issues until you meet a potential suitor in person.  And herein lies my hypothesis that while you should be aware of money as an important aspect of every relationship, it’s not one that should be judged when reading someone’s online profile.  It’s surely awkward to ask someone about their spending habits before you’ve met them, but it is something that you can tell about a person in a first meeting.  Does your date offer to take you to a coffee bar or to an upscale bistro?  Does he arrive in a sensible Nissan or a Porsche?  How do you feel about his choices?  Only when combining your rational thought with your emotional comprehension of the person can you truly make a decision about whether or not this suitor has a financial outlook that you can live with.

So don’t judge a potential suitor by the salary range listed in his (or her) profile.  Instead, make sure that other interests match up and keep your financial outlook reserved for future evaluation.

If you’re frustrated with the world of online dating, you may feel alone – but you’re not.  Still, as you see your friends happily wedded while you’re still waiting for Wednesday night’s blind date, you’re probably wondering what it is that’s undesirable about you, or why it is that no suitable partners can appreciate your good qualities.  It may make you feel a tiny bit better to know that others are equally perplexed.

Lora-Ellen McKinney, a psychologist, health-policy analyst and writer seems to have it all.  She’s talented, educated, employed, healthy and attractive.  Why then, can’t she find love online?  In her new play, fully titled “Welcome to the Freak Show: Match.Dot.Bomb”, McKinney chronicles her online dating experiences in a way that’s poignant, funny and sadly realistic.   McKinney has the uncanny ability to put into words the experiences that most women try to block out or are too flustered to retell.  Perhaps most importantly, McKinney is able to weave her story into a lesson for other women who engage in online dating so that they hopefully won’t face the same frustration that she has.

The show is directed by Shanga Parker, an award-winning theater artist and an accomplished director, and can be seen at Hugo House in Seattle on August 16th and on November 12th at the B2 Fine Arts Gallery in Tacoma, WA.  And, while it might make an interesting first date conversation, you may want to consider taking a friend instead of a beau.  After all, you never know if the companion you’ve met online is one of the men that McKinney parodies.

Dating when you’re a single parent is generally scarier (and less convenient) than dating when you’re completely unattached.  You’ve got to worry about finding someone to accept (and hopefully love) both you and your children.  You’ve got to worry about finding someone stable, someone safe.  And, many times, you’ve got to worry about babysitting.  The good news is that online dating is a great way to connect with people at a time that’s convenient for your hectic life.  The bad news is that meeting others online always comes with additional security concerns, which are often compounded when there are children in the picture.

If you’re looking for some guidance before you enter the world of single parent online dating, you’ve come to the right place.  Follow these tips for a safe and successful single parent online dating experience.

1. Never post pictures of your children on your profile pages. For many parents (both single and in committed relationships), children are the apple of your eye, your pride and joy, the air you breathe…you get the idea.  But although online dating sites are designed to be safe, you never really know who will stumble across your profile.  Why expose your children to strangers unnecessarily?  When posting your profile on any online dating site, make sure to keep your children out of the snapshot.
2. Consider using sites that aren’t specifically for single parents.  This may sound counterintuitive, but many single parents feel more secure safeguarding this information until they’ve established that their potential suitor is a safe person.  Match.com, for example, is extremely popular as an outlet for single parent online dating.  Likewise, you can also try unconventional options like meeting people through Craigslist or other community websites.
3. Try dating sites that are specifically for single parents.  If the previous suggestion doesn’t appeal to you, try the other extreme.  Sites like Single Parents Mingle make it easy to find other singles that have gone through similarly difficult times, which may make them more appropriate matches for you.  You should still be wary of giving out personal information (especially as it pertains to your kids) so that you’ll ensure your family’s security.
4. Do a background check.  You don’t need to hire a private investigator to get the full scoop about your potential suitor(s) – you can do it simply with services that specialize in quick background checks starting at $15 and up.
5. Dress appropriately.  In the world of single parent online dating you’ll find many people who are desperate to leave the world of single parenthood behind.  Even if you’re one of those people, you wouldn’t want to transmit that message to a potential partner on the first day.  You’ll want to stay reserved, cautious and somewhat conservative until you’ve confirmed that the ‘coast is clear’. Save your mini-skirts and low-cut tops for the second or third date so that the partner sitting across from you won’t mark you as an easy target which can leave you and your children vulnerable and open to heartbreak.

Stay tuned for more online dating safety tips and feel free to share your own stories so that nobody else finds themselves in the same uncomfortable situation!

Tired of spending a fortune to hang out with your friends?  Why not host a movie night in your own home?  Movie nights are not a new idea, but with these 7 suggestions you can put a new spin on an old classic and host a night to remember.

1. Make it a double-header. If you’re not sure exactly what films your audience will like, ask each guest to bring a movie, and play the two most popular choices.
2. Mix up your snack selection. Why settle on simple popcorn and jellybeans when you can offer a more exciting snack selection?  Consider adding ice cream sundaes, gourmet pretzels, fruit salad or other interesting snacks to your homemade concession stand.
3. Drink up. Sure, movie theaters are known for their oversized cups of soda.  But your personal movie theater can stock up on more exotic beverages.  Mix up some fruity spritzers or martinis, or encourage your friends to shake up their favorite drinks.
4. Open with a short comedy. It may be called a movie night, but there’s no reason that you must limit yourself to movies.  Why not start with a  short TV comedy or a classic skit that you haven’t seen in a while?  Consider Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Simpsons or the Honeymooners.
5. Go for surround sound. If you host movie nights regularly, consider installing speakers around your TV room so that you can get the full feeling of the movie’s sound effects.
6. Surprise your friends with your decorations. Watching a horror movie?  Why not play up your room with scary accents?  Watching a tear-jerker?  Consider leaving tissues and a wastebasket next to each seat (or row of seats).  Your guests will appreciate your thoughtfulness and may even laugh at your antics.  If you’re feeling particularly eager you can even print out homemade tickets (for an added giggle, try telling one your friends that the theater is full!).
7. Add another activity to the evening. There’s no reason why a movie night should be limited to only a movie.  Invite your friends to play a game either before or after the feature film, or to go for a walk to work off some of those snacks.

Have other ideas that can make movie nights a bit more exciting?  Feel free to share them!

With Valentine’s day quickly approaching, your mind may be racing with ideas of how you can romance your partner.  But, if you’re like one of the millions of people who are unhappy in their relationship, you are more likely to be thinking about how to dump your partner and find a new one before you’re stuck all alone on Valentine’s day.  According to a survey conducted by Cupid.com, January is an extremely popular month for breaking up, because most people are reluctant to do the deed before the holiday season, for obvious reasons.  And, although breaking up is seldom pleasant, there are a few ways in which you can minimize the discomfort (and hopefully the emotional turmoil).  Here are some practical suggestions for how to break up with dignity:

1. Break up in a public place. While it may not be entirely comfortable to break the bad news in public, it may encourage your (ex)partner to keep yelling or crying to a minimum.  Hopefully, by the time he or she is able to let out the emotions, the potency will be significantly reduced.
2. Return your ex’s property on the spot. It’s always appropriate to return property that doesn’t belong to you, but doing it during while you’re actually breaking up will prevent you from having to see you ex in the immediate future.
3. Don’t be cruel. Explaining every precise reason about why you’ve decided to break up will not make your ex feel better.  It may, in fact, cause him (or her) to become further depressed.
4. Be honest. While you needn’t provide a laundry list of reasons that you’ve decided to beak up, it’s helpful to tell the truth.  Dancing around the issue or lying about your motives will only leave unresolved issues that will prevent both you and your ex from moving on properly.
5. Don’t spill the beans in advance. Even if you’ve been planning the breakup for a long time, don’t discuss it with too many people.  The process will be significantly more grueling if your partner finds out about it from someone else.
6. Be prepared. Although it may be unpleasant, there’s a chance that groveling may be involved.  If you’re sure that you’ve made the right decision, don’t be swayed by the begging or pleading.
7. Don’t suggest being friends. While many people have only the best intentions when they suggest remaining friends with their ex, studies show that in most cases, this friendship can hinder the healing process.
8. Don’t use email. Breaking up via email may be suitable if you’ve only gone on one or two date.  But if you’ve been seriously involved with someone (or even moderately involved) for a reasonable period of time, an email break up is completely déclassé.  Sure, it may sidestep some of the discomfort, but it may also create a reputation that you’re less than proud of.
9. Don’t point blame. The trite “it’s not you, it’s me” is never a good way to break up, even if you’re blaming yourself.  Likewise, blaming your ex can only lead to self-deprecation and guilt, neither of which are productive emotions.
10. Don’t be afraid to look ahead. It may be difficult to look ahead while you’re in the process of breaking up with someone, but keeping your eye on the future can provide hope instead of despair during this difficult time.

As dating websites go, eHarmony sets itself apart by offering technology-based matches based on “29 Dimensions of Compatibility” that have been confirmed by experts to play a role in creating long-lasting relationships.  The company, which has long been serving the heterosexual community launched a gay dating site in 2009 called Compatible Partners, based upon the same principles.  A recent court ruling, however, may be changing this duality.

Under a proposed settlement filed in the Los Angeles Superior Court on January 26th, eHarmony agreed to link its separate websites and better publicize that it offers gay dating services.  Among the changes that eHarmony agreed to make are to change the language on their site to say that their gay online dating services are ‘brought to you by eHarmony’ instead of simply ‘powered by eHarmony’.  In addition, eHarmony will add a section to its website specifically for gay dating, much like it currently offers “Jewish Dating,” “Senior Dating” and other types of targeted online dating options.  As of now, this change has not yet been implemented, but I will be curious to see how they affect eHarmony, if at all.

What makes this case interesting (in my opinion) is that while gay rights activists insist that mainstream online dating sites such as eHarmony expand their offerings to provide gay dating services, sites such as gay.com have not yet been required to add services for heterosexual singles.  Likewise, neither Jewish dating sites nor Christian dating sites have been forced to expand their services to include singles of other religions.

While I’m thrilled about this ‘victory’ for gay rights, I am a bit puzzled as to whether eHarmony’s previous behavior was truly offensive.  Wouldn’t gay singles enjoy finding matches on a site designed just for them?  Isn’t that why gay online dating sites have grown in leaps and bounds over the past few years?  I’m curious to hear what you think about this, as the issue is quite provocative and one that is sure to continually evolve in the coming years.  It’ll be interesting to see if other dating websites will be compelled to change their policies as well.